Better Together: How Connection Heals Us
As a therapist, I get a front-row seat to one of the most beautiful truths about being human: we’re wired for connection. And yet, so many of us are trying to get through life alone—especially when things get hard. We’ve been taught that independence equals strength, that needing people makes us weak. But the research says otherwise.
New research titles Better Together digs deep into how relationships—romantic, familial, friendships, and even community ties—shape our mental health. The results are clear: connection isn’t just “nice to have.” It’s medicine.
Loneliness Is the New Public Health Crisis
The report highlights something we’ve all been feeling lately: loneliness is on the rise. Even before the pandemic, people were reporting higher levels of social disconnection. Now, nearly half of adults say they often feel lonely. And here’s the kicker—loneliness doesn’t just hurt emotionally. It’s linked to higher risks of anxiety, depression, inflammation, and even heart disease.
When we feel unseen or unsupported, our bodies actually register it as a threat. Our stress systems stay on high alert, and over time that takes a toll. The research compares chronic loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day—seriously.
Relationships Aren’t Perfect, But They’re Protective
The Better Together study also found that people who feel supported in their close relationships bounce back from stress faster, heal from illness sooner, and report greater life satisfaction.
This doesn’t mean your relationships have to be flawless. In fact, the healthiest ones are often messy, imperfect, and full of learning. What matters most is the sense of safety—the belief that you can turn to someone and they’ll be there for you. That sense of being held, emotionally or physically, has measurable benefits for your nervous system.
Even small moments—checking in with a friend, holding hands, sharing a meal—can calm the body and regulate our emotions. Those everyday gestures tell our brains: “You’re not alone in this.”
We Heal in Relationship
Therapy itself is built on this truth. Healing doesn’t happen in isolation; it happens in connection. A strong therapeutic relationship—one where you feel seen, safe, and understood—can actually reshape how your brain responds to relationships outside of therapy.
This is why I often tell my clients: the work we do together isn’t just about solving problems; it’s about relearning safety in connection.
Practical Ways to Build Connection
Here are a few simple but powerful ways to lean into connection, based on the findings from Better Together:
Check in, even when it feels awkward. Send that “Hey, thinking of you” text. Don’t overthink it.
Let people show up for you. It’s not a burden—it’s a gift to both of you.
Join something. A support group, a volunteer project, a choir, a game night. Shared activity builds community.
Be real. Vulnerability invites closeness. You don’t have to be perfectly fine to be worthy of love.
Final Thought
The research reminds us what we already know deep down: we’re not meant to go through life alone. Connection is how we survive, and it’s also how we thrive.
If you’ve been feeling disconnected lately, know that it’s not too late to reach out—to a friend, a loved one, or even a therapist. Healing begins when we let ourselves be better together.
